Today’s scenario has happened to me way too many times in the past, but no more … (IBPOC please take note as it happens to us more than I care to count).
The scenario –
A new acquaintance/friend/date is rude to you and/or passive aggressive. Personal attacks are suddenly part of conversations originally scheduled to discuss specifics topic (not your worthiness or intelligence), but somehow your worth is exactly what ends up being questioned.
But you are getting better at extricating yourself from relationships that harm you, so you remove yourself, no longer engaging. And then it happens …
They reach out. They call, email, or text to say “they really enjoyed meeting you and they wish you all the best”.
Way too many times I have stayed silent and endured that final comment, the comment that held no remorse, no apology, no acknowledgement whatsoever of the stones that were thrown, never acknowledging to myself or anyone that the final comment stings just as much.
But I have discovered the solution, a verbal “Polysporin” if you will, with the ability to speed healing. That solution – respond with acknowledgement of the harm.
Rest assured, when presented with the latest “I wish you well”, I did not sit quiet. I responded with authenticity, sharing my truth to heal my body. The words were simple …
“Well, as it turns out, it was not a joy meeting you. Please refrain from contacting me in the future.”
It sounds so simple but with that respond, I did the one thing I have never done before – I acknowledged the pain someone had inflicted, in real time. I did not let a verbal attack on me be minimized or ignored. I did not need to rehash it or even remind the attacker of what they did. I did not need to attack. Instead, I just honestly shared that interacting with them was NOT a joy.
What they do with the information is up to them.
As for me, I am already healing and moving on, focused once again on practicing what I preach by teaching others how to treat me.
The journey continues.
I love you!