No Shame …
I am awake, I am alive, and once again, I welcome you to my fire.
This morning my thoughts turn to shame and how I have absolutely no desire to feel it or to have others feel it. For as Brené Brown explains, guilt is “I did something bad” whereas shame is “I am bad”.
No one deserves shame.
So, this is me, casting off any shame that others think I should carry. Yes, I used to drink excessively. Yes, a time or two or ten I was behind the wheel when I had no business to be there. Yes, a time or two or ten I probably should have spent more time with my kids. Yes, a time or two or ten I was rude, impatient, inconsiderate … and human.
And I have learned and changed, no longer doing any of the above for I was allowed (or found) the space and time to change. Without that, I couldn’t have and that is why this note.
Racists can change. Misogynists can change. Homophobic or transphobic people can change – with desire and education and time and honest effort. But if we assume otherwise, if we assume that change is not possible, then we become the problem, essentially denying others the space and time to do just that.
Surround yourself with those that have changed, those trying to change, and those who desire to change. It has been my experience that if you simply do that, you will not only find that you are never alone but also, that there are many reasons to be hopeful about the future.
Start today. Start now.
I love you!