Day Seventy – Waves of Isolation


I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I am smiling as the “waves of isolation” settle once again.

Many reading this are no doubt familiar with the waves of grief, how when a loved one is first lost, we feel almost as if we were drowning – unable to breathe, unable to smile, unable to stand under the weight of the grief.

But in time, we find a way. We stand, we smile, we breathe, we begin to believe it is done. And that is when the wave hits. Suddenly you are crying again, unable to breathe, until this wave also passes.

Truth be told, I am finding isolation to be very similar. Most days I am fine. A lot of days I am MORE than fine as I go about improving my company along with my life. But when I least expect it, a wave of grief hits as my spirit succumbs to the lose of relationships, to the loss of human interaction, to the loss of the voices and the laughter of loved ones.

Yesterday, was such a day. And just like with grief, I have found the only way through it is to own it – to acknowledge it, to feel it, to give in to it so it too can pass.

This morning I am smiling as I once again stand on solid dry ground. I am smiling because this morning I remembered to ask myself a question that younger me never thought to ask – “What do you need Sandi?”

The answer – today my mind, body, and spirit need … a dance party. Today my mind, body, and spirit need good food and great literature. Today my mind, body, and spirit need to live even in isolation because now I remember that my happy is still right here, a little water-logged by the waves of yesterday but here nevertheless.

Yesterday, family members and friends lined up to throw me a lifeline, showing me that I may not be hugging them right now but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel loved. Today I honour those amazing people by sending my own brand of love out to you my friend.

So this is me, saying I love you more than you know. This is me praying today you too stand on solid dry ground. This is me virtually hugging the stuffin outta you if it is a day of grieving in your world. This is me saying “You are not alone”.

I love you my friend. Enjoy this day by first asking yourself, “What do I need?”