I am awake, I am alive, and today on Mother’s Day 2020, I cannot help but think of the mothers I have been blessed to know …
I am thinking now of the Moms who raised their babies and the ones who didn’t or couldn’t – the ones lost to us, lost to addictions, the streets, or simply gone on now. I am thinking of the Moms who gave their all even when the bank account said they could give very little, the Moms who have cried more tears than their wailing toddler ever could, the Moms too exhausted to stand who somehow miraculously give one more hug.
Funny how none feel they did a good enough job. Funny how they feel they didn’t say enough or do enough except on the days when they said too much or did too much. Funny how they consistently, endlessly work, putting in hours that no union would allow, all because …
All because they believe their offspring deserve the best, even as they convinced themselves they were so not that.
On this day, I celebrate the woman who raised me, who showed me her tears, her anger, her flaws but always her love, the woman who taught me that to be the best in my eyes had nothing to do with doing everything right. It had everything to do with doing everything with love.
On this day, I celebrate the women who never let me feel alone after the passing of my Mom. Today I say prayers and send TONS of love to Josephine, Elsie, and Marjorie. Thank you for a love that I cherish more than you will ever know and shame on me for not telling you that more often.
On this day, I celebrate the children I raised and the Mom I got to be.
On this day, I celebrate my Babygirl who went on to become a Mom herself. I watch in awe as she uses everything I taught her (good and bad), and turns it into even MORE. With her own brand of mothering, she loves with everything she has, showing me that she is indeed a fantastic Mom doing an amazing job of raising our next generation.
On this day, I celebrate so many young Moms, struggling to love their babies while they try to figure out how to love themselves. These Moms, so often in school or working or both, work endlessly to try to be all they can be, never seeing they are so much more than they have ever imagined, to their children and to me.
On this day, I think of so many denied the right to love their children, judged and condemned for things beyond their control, mothers still beating themselves up after so many years. Please stop, please.
And especially on this day, I celebrate every struggling, hurting, lonely Mom who cannot see their babies and grandbabies today. It is not the first time we have cried after all and it won’t be the last because we know that love often means tears, but that the pain is worth it, every single time, if it means our babies are safe.
On this day, I think of the Moms as I acknowledge that there is one thing every Mother has in common, whether they birthed a child or chose one – Mothers give us a chance. Whether we judge them favorably or not, they gave us life. They gave us the only shot we need and what we do with that, is up to us.
So on this day, I celebrate the Moms, the Moms who have yet to realize it is their flaws that make them unique, their shortcomings that make us laugh, and their authenticity that makes us happy to call them “Mom”.
We never needed perfect Moms after all. We just needed … ours.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom … no matter who’s Mom you are.
I love you!