Day Twenty-Eight – Stop Trying to Save Us!

I am awake, I am alive, and this morning yet another piece of advice for those non-indigenous who wish to be allies …

“Please stop trying to save us when it is you who needs saving.”

All so interested in the beginning. All determined to fight a good fight. All desiring front-line position. All wishing to be seen in any light other than “settler”. But over time many grow unsettled, uneasy, confused as their thoughts are not received, their suggestions and ideas not followed.

Slowly their own trauma, their personal pain becomes apparent. But saving another is so much easier than healing yourself, so an ally is what they want to be! After all, an injured “white” can still reach down and help up a hurt indigenous, right?

They do not see how their plan is soaked in white supremacy.

So allyship it is! They make suggestions, only to have them rejected. But that suggestion is exactly what they need for their pain. How could it not be what we need?
Soon it becomes apparent that their passion never really had anything to do with us. Commitment dies as they struggle to see us as resilient, an impossible task for those barely hanging on, desperately needing help. They cannot fathom how we are not desperate as well.

And when they eventually abandon the idea of allyship, we are left standing alone, somehow thankful as we no longer have to try to explain why their ideas are no better than any of the others outsiders have tried to force or sell or present to us.

The journey continues.

I love you!

#ibelieveinyou #ibelieveinme #icreatespace #celebrateandsurvive #repairingfeathers