I am awake, I am alive, yet my brain in my dream, locked into the reality that is drinking + female + indigenous.

I was traveling, alone in some small locale. The “restaurant” was a tavern, one of those small town bars that can only be described as “all wood”. Occupants numbered two when I arrived – the bartender and a man sitting at the bar. I sat at the other end of the bar, asked for a menu, and set out to figure out my meal.

The man at the bar offered to buy me a drink. “One for the visitor!” he enthusiastically yelled to his friend behind the bar. It had been a long but productive day so I accepted.

Not sure if you have ever had the experience of being in the company of someone who is trying to get you drunk. Whether it was because I was alone, a female, a stranger, or simply sober and he was in need of someone in the same state as him, I didn’t know. But it soon became obvious that both the other patron and the bartender were hellbent to make sure I had “a good time”.

You wouldn’t know the feeling unless you have ever had “too much” but in the dream I stood up to use the bathroom. As soon as I did, I realized just how much I had consumed and how it was time to go home. I attempted (heavy emphasis on the word “attempted”) to walk in a straight, controlled line to the bathroom and that’s where things took a turn.

Two bathroom stalls, individual rooms side-by-side. I entered one only to discover that inside the rooms were connected by a second door and that second door didn’t lock. I really needed to use the facilities, so I decided to risk it and “rush” before someone came in. No dice as the second room was soon occupied by my bar buddy and he was far more interested in seeing me urinate than he was in doing same.

He wouldn’t leave. He was too big to physically remove. I was cornered, alone, and intoxicated – the stuff of my own personal PTSD.

I woke then, surprisingly not upset. Rather just accepting of far too many nights in my past where such a thing playing out wouldn’t have even been out of the ordinary. Such is life for a single woman, alone, indigneous who dares to have one too many.

The journey continues. Today is one of those days when my life is SO MUCH BETTER than my dreams. Thank you for that Creator!
 

I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSSS
Sandi

#ibelieveinyou #ibelieveinme #icreatespace #celebrateandsurvive #repairingfeathers