I am awake, I am alive, and today the journey continues even though very few things look or feel familiar …

It feels like the days just after the break-up. The numbness, the confusion, the not-sure-what-happened-but-it-did feeling that leaves you having to focus on doing the essential stuff or not.

It feels like the first days in a new city – unsure of where to go for what and if you should go there (is it safe?). You know you are okay but how do you stay that way?

It feels like depression but it isn’t. If feels at times like a home-based jail sentence but it isn’t. It feels like some kinda selfish I-want-nothing-to-do-with-you existence but it isn’t … because it isn’t.

In these confusing times, I return to the mantra that has always served me well – accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can.

I cannot control the virus, but I can control the odds of myself or my loved ones contracting it by not exposing myself or them.

I cannot control the requirement for self isolation, but I can change what happens during this time (exercise-over-chips comes to mind).

I cannot know how this turns out but I can do my best to ensure I am helping not hurting our chances for a relatively positive outcome.

And I can focus on the reality that the way things use to be done are over, that the new world requires new ways, for this new world is ripe with opportunity for the innovative. That excites me, even if I am the only one here to celebrate it.

I am going to find a way, I always do. I am going to find a way to love and laugh and dance and sing WITH MY FRIENDS even if it involves a phone or a webcam or a video feed. Because you matter to me and I am NOT doing this without you. THAT I do control.

So today on Day Eight, the journey does continue, with laps around my kitchen (and away from my fridge), with plans brewing for video chats to keep the love alive, with prayers for the grandbabies I miss.

The journey continues … Day Eight.

Mental note – I may need to find a Wilson.

I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sandi