I am awake, I am alive, and this morning as I enjoyed the first 20 mins of my day, I asked myself, “What is this I am feeling?”
At first, I thought it was happy. I mean, I have many, many reasons to feel that but I instantly knew that happy wasn’t it because happy wasn’t enough. It was more than that.
And then it hit me … pride.
Not the sinful, boastful pride that has people thinking they are better than another but self-pride, the kind you feel when you realize you are doing something right, something … good.
In my case, again there were multiple reasons but first and foremost, were two very obvious sources of pride:
First, I am on Day 5 of my life style change. With no fanfare and with no pressure from anyone but me, 5 days ago I gave up three things – Pepsi (a daily indulgence before), chips (my obsession and then some) and Tim Horton’s coffee (namely, my daily 3×3).
But the big change (and the game-changer) has been an addition I made, again simply by knowing me. I know I get bored watching tv in the evenings. I know I didn’t want to give up my downtime but I also know I “bored eat” so I swamped out chips for carrots cut into chips. The sweet kicks the need that was once filed by Pepsi. The crunch fills the need once filled by chips and I am inhaling antioxidants and fibre and a whole bunch of good stuff rather than salt and empty calories (and they are filling too!).
As a result, today I am feeling so much more like ME, the real ME that was being weighed down under the excess weight I have accumulated over the last 10 years (and those rumours about how hard it is to lose weight after menopause – SO TRUE!).
The weight scale hasn’t done much yet but like every success I have ever known, I know this isn’t about baby steps or huge steps. It’s about consistent steps so the journey continues.
Secondly, my gbs are coming over again today. I so LOVE that I have made this time for them. I so LOVE that they know me as well as they do, so much more than my kids ever got to know my Mom (she lived hours away when they were little and between the distance and my work schedule, visits were quarterly at best).
So today, I am proud of the woman I am and how I am doing life in this brand new year. I love that I am loving my body enough to make changes and I love that I am loving and supporting my daughter by loving and cherishing my grandchildren.
Beautiful, just beautiful.
So this is me, sipping my one coffee of the day, loving life and those in it. I am a determined lady, a persistent lady, but today I am also a very proud and happy lady.
It was a long road but here was so worth the journey.
So to you my friend, I say keep going, keep taking one step after another. No matter where you want to go, you will get there if you keep going.
I love you! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS