Self Care is …


I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I am excited as I prepare to deliver the first of many sessions on self care that I will be facilitating over the next few weeks.

Because self care isn’t a spa day once a year.

And it isn’t giving yourself permission to eat lousy food.

It isn’t anything that will multiply your problems tomorrow (because now you have less money or now you hate your weight even more).

Self care is refilling your pitcher after you have depleted or reduced your water by giving to your children and husband and boss and co-workers and neighbors and parents and on and on and on.

And when you get really good at it, you maintain rather than replenish.

Self care is rest before the exhaustion.
Self care is eating well (and remembering to eat at all).
Self care is speaking up against things that hurt or limit you.
Self care is hanging with those that believe in you.
Self care is reaching out to ask for help.
Self care is realizing you were never meant to do it alone.

For me, self care was never a choice. And it’s not because I was that wise but rather because my life was that insane!

As a 25-year old single Mom of a 2 and 4 year old with a full time job and a house to maintain – I had to take care of me because there was no one else to take care of them.

As a business owner, I have to stay on top of deadlines and bills, of what is coming next and when I can get this or that done. I have to recognize mistakes FAST and fix them because there is no one that is going to magically show up to fix things for me.

And as a friend and mentor and guide and Mom, I have to be able to hear those I care for, hear their pain even when not spoken, hear their need for silence or words, hear what they need to hear … and I am much better at it now than I ever have been.

So today, I teach. Today, I share what it took me decades to realize – that it’s not “treat others how you want to be treated”. (We all know those who we treated well that didn’t return same.)

No, it’s “treat yourself as you would like to be treated and they will follow”. It’s “TEACH THEM how to treat you” just as Mom said so many years ago.

So this is me, continuing my journey. Insisting on rest and good food, time alone when I need it, and time with friends when I have been alone too long. After all, my friends know how to treat me.


Because I showed them.

And I pray you have done same my friend. I pray you too have finally come to see how unique and special and amazing you are. A puzzle piece like no other, which means the journeys of those in your world would just not be complete without you.

Remember that, please.