Day 147 – I Needed This!

 

I am awake, I am alive and as I sip my coffee, enjoying my last morning in the condo, three words are again ricocheting around my head, although this morning they are three different words …

“I needed this.”

It is the thought I have had (or eventually had) after every event in my life. Although not all were pleasant (and some were downright horrible!), I learned from every single one of them. In other words, I needed them to become the woman who types this post and I love the woman I have become so thank you to so many …

I needed the love and guidance of my parents and I needed to learn how to love them even as and after I grieved them.

I needed to lose my firstborn to cherish the two I would get to raise.

I needed to love and lose and love again (and lose again) to realize there IS one love that does last forever … the love and appreciation of self and it is SO WORTH FINDING.

I needed to grow up in a small town, to love on a res, to move to the “big city”, to choose to come back again and I needed this condo, not for anyone else but me. I needed to prove to MYSELF that I could silence the ghosts.

So to the haters and the abusers of my past … Eff you! My kids didn’t starve because I left. I WAS smart enough to go into business on my own and yes, I can and did live in the condo on the hill. But now … I don’t want to.

Now, I want the yard. I want the house with the deck. I want the beautiful home that suits my business and my boxer shorts. I want comfort. I want joy. And luckily, I am bringing all of that with me as I head to my house with the deck and the yard.

So thank you condo for being there when I needed you. I learned a lot from you but now this chapter is done and I can’t WAIT to get to the next.

Close the book, my friend, on any chapter you should. As Mom would say, “Take the lessons, leave the rest.”

 

I love you! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sandi

#success #successmindset #Ibelieveinyou #celebrateandsurvive