I am awake, I am alive, and as I set finger to keyboard at this early hour, one of my most favourite poems resonates in my mind …
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
Truth be told, I welcome this day with excitement, thrilled to once again take part in this HUGE SOCIAL EXPERIMENT that my life has become. Let me explain …
Like so many, I realized of late that I had been struggling to remember what day it is, until I realized it doesn’t matter what day it is. You see, as a self-employed woman, working from home, it matters little if it is Tuesday or Saturday. There are things that must be done and it is up to me if they are completed today or not. I alone will suffer the consequences or reap the rewards but the decision is mine, held deep within my unconquerable soul.
That part is great. I LOVE being the “master of my fate” as the poem espouses, but the process it seems is now also up to me.
You see, those closest to me could tell you how I truly do not enjoy my evenings. I love my mornings and my days as I create offerings for you. But as my energy wanes, I am left to spend mindless evenings in front of the tv, waiting for the hour that permits me to sleep. For once I sleep, I can return to what I love – the creating.
But last night I had a crazy idea I just had to run past my daughter – what if I DIDN’T WAIT until dark to go to sleep? What if I slept when tired so I could get up when rested, even if that meant in the middle of the night? The eternal rebel teenager in me danced at the thought of working at midnight or 2 am as the world slept but why not? With no meetings to make, with no staff showing up at a “decent hour”, why not?
My offspring agreed so off to bed I went at 645 pm. No evening of tv and junk food binging for me! Instead I engaged in healthy rest, an activity that now gifts me a morning with ample time to train and create prior to sun rise and the optimum video recording light it brings to my office.
YES, I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. And yes, it feels good, really really good to decide for myself just how I want to play this game called “isolation”.
The journey continues …
How are you going to play my friend? I believe it is your turn to roll. What shall it be? What result do you need? Let’s play. Let’s make that happen!
I love you! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Sandi
To enjoy the poem I referenced, visit …
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51642/invictus
